Abuse MM Taylor

Spiritual Abuse, The Abusee and the Abuser.

By Maria Magruder-Taylor <maria@alaskaalliance.org>

Spiritual abuse is a term that many people have become familiar with over the last few years. We have pastors who are controlled by their "boards", we have church leadership that tries to control the flock, we have pastors who control the leadership and flock and have verbally and spiritual abused fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord. No matter what position, leadership or layperson, we have seen spiritual abuse in the body of Christ, which is derived by a religious/controlling spirit.

Of course not all churches and ministries are in some sort of an abusive situation, but we have seen a lot of it over the years, and praise God we are all learning to love one another and learning how to "work" with one another, submitting to one another in love.

For those of you however who are currently in a spiritual abusive situation, God has a word for you!

For those of you who are the "abusers", God has a word for you too.

For those of your who are struggling with being afflicted by this (abusee) religious/controlling spirit in your church or ministry, the Lord says, "I have surely visited you and seen what is DONE to you in Egypt. And I have said I will bring you up out of the affliction of Egypt to the land of milk and honey." (Ex 3:16-17)

My friends, God has seen your affliction, He has seen everything that has gone on in your situation, and He is about to deliver you. Some of you have "The Joseph Anointing" where you are about to be exalted in mans and God's eyes. Though you have been in bondage, pushed down, stripped of your coat of many colours, God is about to restore.

For His word to you from the beginning is the same word He gave to Joseph, "I AM WITH YOU" (Gen 39:2) Instead of taking on the yoke of man and religion, take on My yoke says, the Lord, For I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

My friends, know that God sees everything! He knows exactly what is going on, He knows every sacrifice, every hurt, every burden you have been carrying. God will see you through and bring you into the land of milk and honey, a land of plenty, a land full of the anointing of God!

For God is pouring out His favour upon all you who have laboured, and have suffered for His name sake.

Ex 12:36 "And the Lord had given the people favour in the sight of the Egyptians so that they granted them what they requested."

Have you requested anything lately from the Lord? Its your time! Begin asking God for the things you need for the Kingdom of God! For there is a great favour being poured out upon you in this hour.

People who have been spiritually abused, please remember that God always uses what the enemy meant for harm into His good, and if you look at your situation as an OPPORTUNITY to spiritually mature and grow, you will find its much easier to get through!

Jesus had many OPPORTUNITIES to spiritually grow! We either grow spiritually from these experiences or we slide backwards into hurt and depression, which is what the enemy wants. So don't fall for that!

Now if we look at the "abuser" side of things, we find that many times the "abuse" is derived from many different issues. Some of these issues can be fear, hurts or wounds, and sometimes just being judgmental can cause one to step into that category of "abuse" to other people. So it is really EASY for any one of us to fall into this category, so we need to do two things:

Evaluate our own hearts if WE have ever fallen into that category of spiritually abusing people, or if WE are even doing that NOW.

If you have found yourself being spiritually abusive to a person in the past (which most of us have some time in our life) then we need to practice patience, LOVE & forgiveness with our current brothers and sisters in the Lord who may have fallen into "spiritual abuse".

These are the most two important things concerning spiritual abuse. Now if you are in a situation that is extremely harmful, then you need to get out. God didn't create you to be a doormat! For example if a pastor grabs you by the throat and is about to punch you in the face, you probably shouldn't hang around! (true story, unfortunately)

Whatever situation you are in, PLEASE consult first the Holy Spirit and secondly someone you can trust. Not someone that will tell you what you "want to hear", but someone that always speaks "truth" into your life.

I think to really look at the abuser side of things, we need to narrow down what IS spiritual abuse? This will help both the abusee and the abuser. This will help the abusee, because many times, (especially women) don't even know they are being spiritually abused. As well it will help the abuser, because many times people don't know they are being "spiritually abusive". Hopefully we don't fall in either category!!!!!!!!!!! If we are ever going to have unity in the body of Christ, we really need to evaluate our hearts.

Spiritual abuse is any sort of affliction that wounds your spirit that results in harm to your spirit, by control or religion, which again usually stems out of fear or hurt. That tells you that you are less than what Christ purchased for you on the cross. Did that make sense?

So just as a person being emotionally abused, their emotions are damage, or a person who is being physically abused, their body is damaged. Same thing with being spiritually abused. Some examples of spiritual abuse from church leadership:

- Verbally attacking the sheep with harsh words, especially when they try to step out into the call of God on their life.

- Leadership controlling relationships-friends, spouse, family members.

- Forbidding you to spend time with certain people.

- Leadership demanding that you "obey" them or else...

- Manipulation-using the word of God to get something "they" want

- Forbidding you to NOT go somewhere, such as another church service or

special meeting.

- Forbidding you NOT to miss one of their services for any reason.

- Forbidding you to worship in freedom. (dancing, flags etc...)

- Totally not allowing any of gifts to flow in a service. (there are times where pastors do have to be discerning there of course, I'm talking like NEVER)

- Money can be a spiritual abuse, if taken in a un-godly manner.

When any sort of leadership seems to think they "own" you.

Examples of possibly lay people abusing the leadership, yes its true, the people in the congregation can be just as controlling as any leadership could ever be!

- Board of Directors controlling the pastor in how the pastor is lead by the Holy Spirit in a service.

- Lay people, board of directors or congregation using money to control or manipulate church issues or the pastor for what they want.

- Lay people or congregation people telling other new members how to act, and what to do and not do in their church.

So, these are some examples from both sides, however there are many more not listed here, that I'm sure many of you could think of! Please evaluate yourself on both sides and if there is anything in your heart or life, just begin to repent and ask God to help you change in those areas.

For more information on spiritual abuse, you can check out this web site at: www.spiritualabuse.org

PLEASE NOTE: Just because I recommended this site for more information, does not mean I agree with everything on this site! Please use your Holy Ghost discernment in what is Godly and righteous! Thank you.

Now, I said God had a word for the abusers. This is a harsh word, and it's a word that God has given me for about 6 months now. It is not a word that has come out of my flesh or out of hurt, but just something God has had on my heart. I believe this is a word for people who have

SERIOUSLY gone overboard on the abuse issue. Whether they will ever see this word or not, I have no idea, I can only hope that God will grab their hearts and show them by the Holy Ghost what needs to change before its too late.

For those of you who are currently controlling and abusing the sheep, (this could be leadership or it could be lay people) for one who has ears, let them hear the word of the Lord:

Woe to the people who do not feed my flocks. You eat the fat and clothe yourselves with the wool, you slaughter the fatlings, but you do not feed the flock. The weak you have not strengthened, nor have you healed those who were sick, nor bound up the broken, nor brought back what was driven away, nor sought what was lost, but with FORCE AND CRUELTY YOU HAVE RULED THEM.

So the flock was scattered because their was no shepherd and they became food for ALL the beasts of the field when they were scattered. (Ezk 34)

And I say, "REPENT" and change your ways. For My ways, are not your ways.

You think you are doing Me good, when you are really HURTING ME. For I am the God who sees all and I see the intentions of the heart. I desire mercy not sacrifice.

For those who will not repent, I will cause you to cease from feeding the sheep and the shepherds shall feed themselves no more. For I will deliver My flock from their mouths that they may no longer be food for you. For thus says the Lord God, "Indeed I Myself will search for My sheep and seek them out. I will seek what was lost and bring back what was driven away, bind up the broken and strengthen what was sick, but I will destroy the fat and the strong and feed them in judgment."

Ezekiel 34 says it all!

Again, whether abusee or abuser, we all need LOVE and FORGIVENESS towards one another. None of us have "arrived", we are all growing and maturing, from Glory to Glory. Lord help us all to evaluate our hearts on a daily basis that we would not hinder our brothers and sisters in the Lord spiritually! They will know we are Christians by our LOVE!

John 13:35 "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Matt 6:15 "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will you Father forgive you trespasses."