Spiritual Abuse by Robert Bennett.

arebie@bellsouth.net

 

Speaking from the apostolic perspective, having been given the mandate by Jesus Christ to “build my church,” I feel it’s my duty to bring certain spiritual matters before you for judgment. Our goal in this article is to help abusers and the victims of abuse to recognize God’s voice and see the wisdom of rejecting this heresy practiced by the Pharisees of Jesus’ day. 

 

Many people naturally ask what does “spiritual abuse” have to do with the ability to hear God’s voice? This is a logical question considering the mindset of today’s Christian. But as we shall see “spiritual abuse” is one of the most powerful weapons Satan has in his arsenal. Throughout the eons of time Satan has successfully hindered our ability to hear God’s voice while at the same time convincing Christians they can’t hear from God directly. This deception has resulted in the vast majority of Christians actually believing that pastors and other the Christian leaders are the only people that can hear the voice of God, and nothing could be further from the truth.   

 

Understanding this situation actually exists within the Christian community makes it imperative to our spiritual well being that we know what hinders us from hearing God’s voice. And knowing what hinders us is equally important as knowing what helps us to hear His voice. And so brethren the wise Christian will make themselves aware of Satan’s devices. In this case ignorance can have a devastating effect on our life. 

 

This type of abuse can be likened to domestic abuse or domestic violence, in that there is an abuser and there are victims. But when confronted both sides deny the existence of the abusive situation and this denial actually protects and perpetuates the abuse. But as Spirit filled Christians we must come the realization that denial and deception are two of the main demonic forces that give power to this type of relationship. Understanding of course that hearing and obeying God’s voice in the midst of abuse and denial is very difficult, and many abused Christians find it impossible.

 

Scripture reveals that Jesus spoke harsh words to the Pharisees. He used the words “Woe unto you Pharisees and Scribes” several times, referring to the spiritual abuse practiced on their disciples. These instances of Jesus’ open contempt for spiritually abusive leaders should serve as a warning to the leaders of today’s Church. When we study the actions of the Pharisees we find a remarkable similarity to spiritually abusive churches today.

 

Below we have listed the main characteristics of churches that operate in spiritual abuse:

 

Authority Focused

Leaders that constantly remind themselves and the congregation of their position of authority practice spiritual abuse. They tend to be preoccupied most of the time talking about how everyone is supposed to be in submission to them.

 

The very fact that they are eager to place people under them should serve as dire warning to us. 

 

Jesus is a perfect example of how a spiritual leader should see his position among the people. Matt 7:28–29 says, “… the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.” The people could sense His authority and His concern for them.

 

Just as Jesus gave the people hope. A true leader rarely talks about his or her authority instead he concentrates his or her efforts exhorting people to live a holy and righteous life while giving them hope. 

 

Preoccupation with Performance

Churches that operate in spiritual abuse place a much higher importance on performance than on grace. To them works are more important than being transformed into Christlikeness by the power of the Holy Ghost.

 

In spiritually abusive congregations pastors often demand members spend time performing works such as spending hours every evening in prayer or Bible study. Or they may send a deacon to reprimand someone for missing service or coming in late.

 

Study the spiritual abuse in this realistic scenario and judge for yourselves. A certain church has three services per week where attendance at every service is mandatory for every member of the congregation. When a person or family would be absent a deacon would meet with the absentee to discuss the problem and possibly put him under church discipline. To quote from the pastor’s sermon, “You are required to be here. This is for your safety because the days are getting more and more evil. Besides, what else are you going to do? Waste your time, that’s what! “But what about family time?” someone asked. What are you going to do with that family time? I’ll tell you what you’ll do! You’ll watch television or talk ungodly conversations.” (Yes, this actually happened.)

 

Under this pharisaical form of spiritual abuse where performance is demanded above grace and transformation everyone either does what they are told or they face shame and embarrassment from the church leadership.

 

Rules are Hidden

Spiritually abusive churches control people by rules—rules that are openly discussed and rules that are hidden. But it’s the hidden rules that are most powerful, injurious, and unhealthy. For example, “Don’t say anything contrary to the pastor’s teaching or church leadership or you’ll be marked as being rebellious.” Do not speak against any of the projects the pastor wants to institute or you’ll be cut off from the congregation as one who doesn’t hear from God or doesn’t understand the “Word.”

 

By not speaking those hidden rules, they are kept from being exposed for what they are: a control mechanism.

 

Unbalanced Approach to Living the Christian Life

This aspect of spiritual abuse generally appears in two distinct and extremely dangerous modes: First authority in the Church is based on education and intellect rather than being filled with the Holy Ghost. The other common mode is that authority in the congregation is guided by emotions, feelings and experiences, once again leaving out the necessity of being filled with the Holy Ghost.

 

The former does not acknowledge obedience and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit, nor the gifts and calling on a person’s life. It limits God to act only in ways that can be explained, proven and acceptable to the pastor.

 

The latter states that the congregation can only know and understand God by what the leaders tell them because only the leaders are given revelation from God which is false.

 

Fear and Suspicion

In the spiritual abusive church there is a fear or paranoia that outsiders will not understand their “revelation of the Word” (the twisting of scripture) and will “persecute” them (reveal the existing abuse). This fear and suspicion creates a wall between them and other churches and unbelievers. (Which in turn creates isolation that enables the pastor to be accountable to no one. Which then, in turn, enables him or her to have more control over the people and abuse them as he or she pleases.)

 

One of the popular excuses we hear when abuse is exposed within a congregation is expressed like this; “We must be deeper into the Word and getting higher revelations of God than other churches, because Satan is using Christians to attack us.”

 

Within the abusive church, there is a hidden communication system that funnels information about its members that are not in full support of the leader’s directions and teachings. The leaders fear exposure. While cloaking their evil with scripture (“Obey your leaders and submit to their authority.” —Hebrew 13:17), they are quick to mark as being rebellious and discipline anyone who questions their decisions or speaks contrary to their teachings.

 

Delusion of Grandeur

One of the strongest footholds that Satan has in a spiritually abusive church is the belief that they alone are right, that all ‘outsiders’ that do not fully agree with their teachings and methods that they are wrong or live a ‘watered-down’ gospel.

 

The senior pastor is not accountable to an overseeing leadership and other churches are often criticized, even from the pulpit.

 

This aspect of spiritual abuse is often expressed in scaring and humiliating the people. “Marking” people who do not adhere to their standards is a powerful method to scare and humiliate the congregation.

 

Here are three examples that happened in an abusive church:

 

• After demanding that everyone pay their tithe, the pastor felt there was still not enough money coming in. So, from the pulpit, he held up a piece if paper and said, “I have a list of those of you who are not tithing. If you do not start tithing this week, I will read your name next week.” 

 

• In this same church, mostly everyone reflects the pastor’s self-righteousness. There is an understanding’ that if you leave that church, you will be cursed. When they hear of any bad thing that has happened to anyone who has left, the explanation is: “They left our protection and are now free game for the devil.” 

 

 

• A mother had a child with behavioral difficulties that were beyond her ability to control. The mother was warned numerous times to control her child as he disturbed the class and would not submit to the teacher. She was told that because she did not control him and did not teach him to submit to authority that she was doing more harm than physically abusing him and she was then “marked” in front of the whole congregation for not following through on the leadership’s order. No one was allowed to talk to her.

 

Within the past several years this topic has been foremost in my heart. Crying sincere tears of compassion for those who are in bondage to spiritual abuse has filled many nights as I have been on my face before the Lord seeking mercy for the victims and the abusers. So today from the heart of God I say “enough is enough.” To the abuser, I say, “Stop and repent!” To the abused, “Come and let me heal you says the Lord of Hosts.” And to the rest of the Body of Christ, God says, “Open your eyes to this cancer and rid My Body of it.”